In Tongues

A book written by Thomas Grattan and picked apart by cunty ol' me.

Introduction

I had to take a break because I finished the book, Gordon was being a lot, I had to re-read a few parts, and I realized through the whole thing that (although I claimed to have hated the book) I think I actually really did like it.

In this review you will definitely find small timeline errors and be inundated with spoilers. If either of those are a deal breaker for you, don’t read this. You will not Iike it.

Come on, let’s get into it

I’ll set the scene: Everyone is gay and everyone smokes cigarettes and everyone lives in New York City. It's the 90's (hint that will be important) who wasn't gay, and smoking, and in New York City was a drag, or so I've been told. This is one of those books where NYC acts as a sort of ominous other character through the entirety of the book.

Gordon is a small town 20-something living in New York City with his lesbian best friend with whom he entertains the same kind of complicated friendship we have almost all surely had with our most favorite people. Gordon has many figurative bones thrown his way, the first being a dog walking gig set up by his best friend’s evenly molded girlfriend. The friend is always a bit edgy with Gorden, the girlfriend is not. Isn’t it always that way?

The dog walking gig leads to an assistant gig for a wealthy gay couple (Philip and Nicola) who buy art and are indicated to be both old and gay, respectively. Gordon’s job as an assistant is to walk the dogs, cut up fruit, and “help out” at parties (no, not sexual; at least not yet).  

Around this point I was starting to wonder what the hell this book was about. The plot was fairly non-complex, and I was getting bored. So, I’m just going to cut to the chase, this book is about 9/11. In the way that 9/11 happens in the middle of it — one of those (I’m sorry My Year of Rest and Relaxation).

Gordon is now a full blown assistant, and seems to be wildly overestimating both his sexual appeal and how much his sexual appeal is needed for the role. It’s a little bit cringey. You are sort of embarrassed for him. I find that endearing. I am beginning to grow fond of Gordon — he does try, even if terribly imperfectly.

After Gordfdon’s second party as the couple’s assistant, he has already found himself having hooked up with one of the husbands. This is laughed off by the couple, and Gordon thinks it’s just a grand old time, but the energy shifts and there’s a less comfortable air between the three. Another aspect of this is that, by this point in the book (p. 137), you are already very aware that Gordon is essentially a bonafide slut, and PLEASE I am not judging. I too know my way around a bunch of horny men.

That being said, the hookups provide minimal substance and eat up vauluable story space that (I think) would have been better served making the book better, but who am I. I’ve never even written a book.

So Gordon and Nicola have sex, Gordon is worried that Phillip will find out, Phillip does not (well, you never explicitly find out) but instead Gordon is invited to accompany Philip to Paris, France on art business. [I said earlier that the couple was rich, I lied, they actually own one of the art galleries, causing Gordon to bump into certain mystical artiste types who he is always very interested in, of course].

Between Gordon’s invitation to France and him actually going to France, we get hit in the face with a ton of Gordon’s personal baggage about his dad.

The whole book he’s been dodging calls from his dad.

Philip and Gordon are in Paris. Gordon is being a slut, making a fool of hmself, Philip is guiding him on the rights and the wrongs of how to be a dirty little slut (as in etiquette, nothing sexual between the two, Philip is not especially attractive to Gordon or to anyone in the book we are told). Philip is sort of being a dick, Gordon is really taking it personally.

Then, Philip gets food poisoning, Gordon nurses him to health, and they move their flights. Good thing too because that night is 9/11. 

Not the best written 9/11 scene, if I will be honest, which is also why I think a darker, more intense situation is certainly coming about (it does not). The scene is not very impactful - or perhaps I don’t care as much about 9/11 as I once did.

The 9/11 pause gives Philip and Gordon a chance to be wined and dined by Philip’s business cohorts because the French are being more hospitable than usual due to the tragedy. The time also gives Philip and Gordon a chance to have more fun together, and Philip even helps Gordon to land a hot waiter on (what becomes) their second to last night. 

Chapter 10 ends with Gordon lying to Philips travel agent about business so that they’ll stay another day and he can continue fucking the hot server. I am wondering if this lying will begin to catch up with him (it does)

Meet Pavel. You know how I told you that Gordon has met artists? He’s basically met one, or one of note -- Pavel. Pavel is American raised (since 9) but is introduce as if he is just the epitome of ethnic -- haven’t checked who the author actually is yet but I can almost guarantee he’s white (he is) -- in the way that small town white people like to do. 

I find this vaguely irritating but perhaps that’s the point of Pavel. To Gordon, Pavel is someone enticing, someone he has dry banter with, someone who has never said no in bed, but has definitely not said yes out of bed. We have all fallen for some type of Pavel. 

Chapter 11 opens with Pavel calling to ask Gordon if he could paint him. Pavel and Gordon have a whirlwind romance (at least from Gordon’s POV) , from Pavel’s they are engaged in the traditional artist/muse song and dance that is just part of an artist’s job. 

Gordon has the opportunity to see these experiences for what they are, and really capitalize on that as a writer, but instead he capitalizes on  feeling used after focusing on how to make himself feel useful. He manifests exactly what he meant to (often with a bit of an elevated twist), but is shocked every time because he thought (I guess) that he was manifesting something different. He wants to manifests community, but instead he’s ignoring people and important things that end up biting him right in the ass.  

So Pavel paints Gordon, and the paintings are very good, and of Gordon, which is very cool. A relic, an imprint, a dream to someone like Gordon. 

Gordon has been given a phone by Philip -- the “assistants” phone. I saw recently in a tv show that these phones are often tracked. This usually means the assistant is “in,” but with a cost. He is now being watched. He does not seem to realize this. 

Gordon is having sex with Pavel, being painted by Pavel, being contacted by his rich bosses Philip and Nicola, and he hates it. However, this is the happiest he seems to be in the whole book -- and he cannot stop complaining. And he only complains to the wrong people, having fully immersed himself into Gordon and Nicola’s world, he complains within that world. He has friends outside of them, but he isolates her, never talks to her, never returns her calls. Never complains to her. I sort of think what ends of happening could have been avoided if he had just remembered who his friends really were. 

 You can probably guess what happened -- that’s right. He loses everything, and frankly, rightfully so. Offscreen (like out of Gordon’s life) Nicola and Philip are having problems (Nicola has accused Gordon of stealing clothes and Philip sides with Gordon, messy messy! Their problems cause them to take same time apart, and Philip ends up inviting (sort of) Gordon to stay. Or, more like, Gordon is invited to go out to drink with Philip and never leaves.

[The Philip and Nicola separation feels pretty permanent to Gordon, and he starts fancying himself as one day taking Nicola’s place, or at east helping Philip out to help him get back onto his feet.

All that being said, Gordon does seem to be genuinely helpful to Philip. He cooks for him, takes out the dogs, provides company and comfort, but boy does he pick up a lot of boys (men) and bring them back to Philips(!!!) place. It’s insane, honestly, as someone who has been known to get into similar situations, I do pride myself on understanding when I’m starting to fuck up a good thing. 

Does Gordon understand tht he is staying his welcome? Yes. Does he ignore it? Unfortunately no, and he does something worse, he starts finding ways to convince himself that Philip is still grateful for his company. So, Philip starts dropping louder hints, it gets uncomfortable. 

It gets so bad that Nicola comes back into the picture to help (nearly) forcibly remove Gordon. Finally, Gordon goes back home, but unfortunately, he doesn’t recognize the life he left there. His best friend and roommate won’t talk to him, and then drops the “I’m moving to the other coast” bomb. 

Gordon, of course, is sad and feels that his life is very hard and that no one loves him. Also, 9/11 happened recently. The roommate/best friend is moving, which means Gordon is also moving because he was never on the lease in the first place. 

Gordon goes to the library and checks his email (lol). Honestly, this story does a pretty good job of feeling modern (I was going to say timeless, but only anytime after the invention of the email, and anytime before AI integration softwares started to compete with us for water supply.)

On his email he learns that his Dad has also emailed him . He also learns that he can send an email to Pavel. Oh, yea, PAVEL. Remember him? Probably only barely because he moves to Mexico a year after painting several photographs of Gordon [selling one of said paintings to none other than Philip and Nicola]. Gordon is heart broken, he was sure that his connection with Pavel was intimate, deep, important. But, Pavel moves and Gordon still chooses to spend the rest of the year, spiraling into Pavel’s weird, introverted, burgeoning artistic way (never a good idea). Pavel is a true artist, only in anything for the art he can get out of it.

I’m surprised that Gordon doesn’t see how similar he is to Pavel. The only difference between them is that Gordon doesn’t fully understand his function, so he is not able to effectively benefit from his new (and now old) position in the art society. 

Anyway, Gordon writes something along the lines of, “hope you are doing well, would love to visit you in Mexico sometime.” and then goes home and goes to sleep. When he wakes up in the morning, he has an email from Pavel that’s like “Nice to hear from you. And sure, anytime.”

You think Gordon goes? Of course! He literally, that second, packs, and gets a ticket and gets a flight to San Diego, and goes to Mexico, and shows up. 

Pavel is like “Oh” and of course has a boyfriend and all these friends (that you assume are hot and mean) -- it’s  a mess. Gordon is sad.

Pavel lets him stay in his nice flat [although he says that Gordon must leave after a week -- Gordon was expecting to stay indefinitely]. Gordon mopes around (idk, he’s such a whore in NYC, Paris, but not here … feels racist?), gets an email that his dad is sick. Does nothing fun. 

Pavel invites him to his friend’s bday. Gordon shows up in a mood (post email about Dad) and basically ruins the entire thing. Not basically, entirely. He shows up late (after showing up an hour early and watching through the window of a coffee shop across the street -- creep, but I digress) in an attempt to “blend in” as he puts it (??). After about 30 minutes of glaring at everyone and not talking to the one person in the whole bar who he knows (Pavel) -- Gordon decides to ruin the party by spouting off his opinions about everyone at the party and Pavel. It’s one of those moments where his anger feels very niche and most of the recipients are confused but still offended just because they don’t Ike him talking. 

Gordon leaves -- is met by Pavel the next morning. Pavel tells him to (in so few words) get the fuck out of his apartment. So, Gordon does, feeling dejected and miserable per usual. 

Gordon goes to (someplace small and boring)  to stay with his dad and step mom. Blended families are a goddamn lie, and Gordon’s family situation shows its empty coldness as good as any. His dad is religious as ever, and Gordon gets right back into the swing of things…

If you were reading along with me, you would already understand Gordon’s background and history with his mother -- how he went to move with his father. How his father had initially moved out of the house because of a car accident he had caused that could have gotten Gordon killed. How Gordon father’s new life was filled with a religious stupor that caused him to speak in tongues and hit Gordon across the face when he found evidence that he was gay.  

Why did Gordon’s dad think he was gay? I can’t remember the details of how he found out, but Gordon had been entertaining a crush on a boy his age at the time. This crush was innocent if not slightly manipulative (on Grodon’s part) and slightly filled with shame (on Alan’s part), so it was doomed. 

When Gordon goes back to help his father recover, Grodon is the same and so is Alan. Except, now Alan is married to a woman with a kid, and Gordon is out but certainly not married. Equal in their levels of misery-- the only solution too much a contradiction to the source of their misery for them to choose it. 

Gordon’s visit with his dad and step mom lasts a few months, but is fairly short-lived in the grand scheme of things. Everything starts off “good,” until Gordon “Gordon’s” too much and pisses off and disturbs his hyper religious step mom and dad. He is asked to pay rent (he does), and then the rules come raining down. This goes about well as you suspect, and Gordon is kicked out after hooking up with a dentist(?) -- who knows. 

But out he goes -- back to New York.  Through this whole time he has been speaking with his (now) distant friend/ex-NYC roommate via email. He talks to pretty much everyone via email -- all the emailing gives the time period away. That and 9/11 of course. 

Now we are in the future, and Gordon is a nurse. He went to nursing school. Yes he did. With what money? Not sure, but some of it was certainly from Philip who had reached out and gave him $5,000 as a sorry. 

In a perfect end, Philip dies in Gordon’s hopsital, Gordon gets some closure, learns why he was really fired (Nichola is a liar), and gives Philip some closure too. 

That’s it. Sort of ight, but a good reminder that the times when we think we are fucking up the most, may actually be the time when we are making the most impact. For Gordon, no Philip and Nicola, no 500,000.

I give it 4/10. But again, I’m just a random cunt whose never published a book — so, what do I know?